A night to remember
by FanGirl13
Summary: Zevran gets the chance to teach fourth graders the magic of sex...kinda.


Okay first thing is first we are NOT responsible for anything that happens in this story. I repeat that NOT responsible. It was just a cracked out night where anything could have happened after we taught a friend of the wonders of trolling now on to the smut that is going to prolly end very badly for someone…for no reason. OH! One more thing don't take it serial we know it's bad…don't tell use its bad or make some kind of excuse why we aren't human. ENJOY!

"Okay class now onto mathematics." Mrs. Hardy announces to the young innocent 4th grade elementary students. The awkward kid in the back put his hand up and shook it franticly. Mrs. Hardy put her face in her palm knowing that his question was going to have nothing to do with what was going on in class. Frankie was a special kid he needed extra attention and could not focus on anything for very long periods of time. "Yes Frankie?" She looked up in between her fingers to see Frankie smile and open his mouth to talk.

"My brother brought this game home yesterday and I played as an elf thinking it was going to be one of Santa's elves but it turned out to be 6 feet tall." Frankie stopped and took a deep breath, "but Santa's elves are only 4 feet tall and make toys this one was a rogue and killed things. How did Santa get his tiny elves?" Frankie smiled waiting for his answer.

Mrs. Hardy so desperately wanted to tell the kid Santa wasn't real, but that would lead to angry calls from the rest of the class' parents. She decided to humor him, "well did you see the race dwarf in the game as well? They are a small breed of human." Frankie's eyes seemed to sparkle as the teacher talked. "Well that's a cross between the two. When a dwarf and an elf fall deeply in love they have sex and have little elves but since the dwarf is small the baby stays small." She stopped talking and immediately regretted what she had said there was no way of taking it back.

Frankie and the rest of the class looked confused. Another kid that sat in the front of the room raised her hand. "Mrs. Hardy, what is sex?" The question was immediate. "No not telling you that. It's a secret." She said turning to the board to write 2x4. The rest of the class groaned and said please in the most pathetic tone, wanting to know so desperately. She groaned knowing she wouldn't get out of this. "Sex is….Sex is…sex is when two people… Come on people to my computer I shall let you read for yourselves." Mrs. Hardy turned to her computer and logged into her fanfiction account. A game her brother was playing came to mind. It had a elf and a dwarf. She clicked the link that read Dragon age: Origins. An M rating and a link to a romance between Zevran and a female dwarf later the children were surrounding the computer reading the fanfiction which read:

The young dwarven grey warden grabbed the sex crazed antivan elf by the leather armored chest plate and thrusts him into the nearby tree trunk, kissing him forcefully pausing for one moment to whisper "It looks like the tables have turned in my favor this time, Zevran."

Zevran lets out a slight chuckle and cooed in her ear in his horribly sexy accent, "Indeed. Maybe I can turn them back to mine, yes?" Zevran grabbed her hips turning around and pinned the young dwarf to the tree. He purred and bit her lip.

But that was not all Zevran had in store for THIS dwarf. Using his agility and creativity to proceed to tie her to the nearest tree branch, in an amazingly elaborate pattern. This, however, only left the both of them eager and hungry for what is to come next. Zevran, being an expert at the removal of any and all types of garments, easily exposed the exiled dwarf.

He purred again his warm breath tickling her neck making her moan and bite her lip in anticipation for the things to come. Hahaha come. You get it? Like the hot sticky substance that comes out after ejaculation? Hahahaha I said Come again. Awww third time! ANYWAYS!

Zevran kissed down he begging body stopping at her swollen rosy nub. He was on the brink of a frenzy as he plunged his tongue inside of her. He rolled his tongue around like her would with his R's. He gasped her suspended body trembling wanting more. He pulled away and stared at her pushing his hard throbbing cock to her leg causing her to gasp again. "Zevran! Please, untie me!" Zevran laughed as he pushed himself closer to her opening, "I think not." He shoved himself into her hard.

She cried out in pain, he was larger than she had expected. It hurt far more then she could ever imagine. He thrusted into her over and over again, pushing harder. He foolishly mistook her pleas for him to stop to be pleas of encouragement, harder and harder, faster and faster. The cycle continued. "No, Zevran, you don't understand! It's hurting me!" She shrieks now flailing. Zevran glanced up at her cringed face for a moment and he figured out she wasn't kidding. He pulled his hard member from her to find it covered in blood. " I thought I wasn't your first!" She started to sob, "You weren't!" Zevran eyes went wide and he backed up scared. "WHAT GODDAMNIT! NOT AGAIN THRID FUCKING TIME THIS WEEK!" The dwarf looked to him shocked, "What do you mean again!?!"

Zevran backed up holding his hands up in front of him as if to guard himself if needed. Like he needed it she was still tied to the tree. "Ummm I'm sorry! I should have told yo---GOODBYE." Zevran grabbed his armor and dashed off into the woods back to camp. He dressed on his way. Of course she could be healed but then again there wouldn't be as much nagging around if she died. So he never turned back.

When back at camp he still had and itch to feed. Alistair sat in front of the fire warming his hands. The young elf smiled at the grey warden. "Oh Alistair…"

Alistair's face seemed to sink when he heard his name be called in that husky accent. He swallowed hard, "Oh, Maker help me."

The class looked stunned. Mrs. Hardy stood there knowing she was going to lose her job for this. However, that same voice which caused this extensively screwed up explanation of sex calls out a single request "Mrs. Hardy…." Frankie whimpers "May I go to the restroom…?"

THE END

We don't really know what happened at the end there…we never really figured out how santa got his elves either. I guess he just kidnaps them with a van like a normal person. Also how many times has this happened to our antivan friend Zevran? Who knows? We will probably never know. That's just how two teenage girl work on no sleep at 7 in the morning. Good day.


End file.
